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Mourning Cup of Coffee

by Apatheia Sings

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1.
I planned to leave my town that day At the dawn Of breaking light across my waking eyes Instead of mourning, I left late And said that ice thaws And melts away with subtle wind and subtle rain Ring around the Rosie pocket full of ashes All preserved and we all fall Down in the meadows got some friends a frightened They wonder if a god really even likes them Caught again and a knife is raised It slices bodies bare as she just stares away I can’t put down thoughts inside that build me up and bring you down And then circle like a ghost’s love in a gown And not to say it doesn’t shame My heart to pieces when release is Just a word, a text, a call away Ring around the Rosie pocket full of ashes All preserved and and we all fall Down in the meadows got some friends a frightened They wonder if your god really even likes them Caught again and a knife is raised It slices bodies bare as she just stares away
2.
See trembling veil of evening Inside this town I’m leaving Where I grew up, it’s not how I foresaw it all going down I touched your face I was the child in the back in the burlap sack Touch your face, I touched your face Two brothers in a hut in the wind and the mud With grace, within grace It was the tea time party when I asked you to dance With grace, within grace We mourned around the grave in the pouring rain Touch your face This town is full of dead eyes I’ll watch and wait to defy But in the end I’ll join them Morning coffee, on my way to work and I touched your face I was the child in the back in the burlap sack Touch your face, I touched your face Two brothers in a hut in the wind and the mud With grace, within grace It was the tea time party when I asked you to dance With grace, within grace We mourned around the grave in the pouring rain Touch your face
3.
It’s so obscene: Seventeen years old, she Turns to God and cries out: “Why are they so quiet?” It’s then she sees How much she could be Dead in love with herself, But recently she’s nervous That she will be thinking In foreign letters: Forlorn’s the word. For once she’ll be All that she needed. Could you conceive this? Or receive this? Is it absurd? “It cannot be Held here”, said the beam Of light that never shown down Until the break of dawn, how Could this girl see Herself In ordinarily Comfortable positions But no regrets, she’s fiction And you won’t be Everything that she meant By surfacing passions And no love can’t Single handedly Handle lust that’s free: Is she me? Is it confirmed? Are you concerned... For me?
4.
Give me direction In light and sound I was the child Borne too dumbfound All the people Who fall so fast From movements of grace And what they thought would last And what has passed? Where were you going And would it last? They see like roses Rotting on the bathroom floor Tiles like the blood stained Windows on the tower up North Give you instruction For seasoned ground the houses and rooms you knew so well Newly weds and futures wound; Sewn somewhere down in hell, Or down to heaven Where will you find it? What were you given? They see like roses Rotting on the bathroom floor Tiles like the blood stained Windows on the tower up North
5.
Don’t you walk away my friend Cuz I knew we knew it when You said “what hurts will end”: Those words they aren’t a sin I don’t know if you feel How much I care for you: “I’ll never give up or defend, I’ll never walk away again” That pain will subside With time and drawing lines I always finalize my words As the sort of law to be heard Do I I believe that? not quite When your words they cut like a knife In the night Of unrequited love and strife I don’t know if you feel how I feel for me how I feel for you in this time of blurring signs I don’t know if you fear how I fear for me how I fear for you in this time of blurring signs In the night Reunite Your thoughts they sanctify The prayers I confide In to make it through sighs You let out when it’s bright Out, I hope you lay to rest Your worries in your nest To let the futile grow In ashes from below And I count on you to sweep Me right off of my feet When you look at my that way And ask me “will I stay?” “No, I won’t walk away” But I’m so close to a break Of dawn, I pray For once we’ll lay And say Te amo I don’t know if you feel how I feel for me how I feel for you in this time of blurring signs I don’t know if you fear how I fear for me how I fear for you in this time of blurring signs In the night We delight Always pointing to the light It’ll pass just give us time Let it pass just give me time
6.
It’s not a fault that the light at the table is dying out fast I must be going but it’s nice to meet you at last Out of time I don’t see how you see how this moment is out of my time Out of lust I don’t know if you see like confused misery this cursed lust It’s a must But you Do You Feel Me? But we don’t Talk much no more Recede We have decided to let go at sunset To reach the moon Cuz thats how you said that you loved me till sunset By blinding the noon We’re out of time I don’t see how you see that this moment has purely no time It’s a must I don’t get why we fight it when truly the end is a must Out of lust But you Do You Feel Me? But we don’t Talk much no more Recede

about

Written, recorded, and mixed by Noah Miller

Mastered by James Licata

~ When the arbitrary innocence is delivered, it dances, observed in reverence as we wave goodbye to this town... ~

credits

released March 13, 2020

Noah Miller- Vocals, Guitars, Bass, Synths/Keys, Organ, Piano, Banjo, Percussion, Sampler

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Apatheia Sings (Noah Miller) Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Philadelphia, PA

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